The Lovers Dynamic

Taking a quick break from conflict to bring in another dynamic that will come into play for later this week and into the next, the Lovers Dynamic.

Romance is everywhere right now. Valentine’s Day was last month and April is the first month of the big wedding season. People are getting enganged and having babies all over the place. Or at least all over my Facebook news feed. So I thought it would be fitting to try and go over some of the more romantic portions of relationships between characters.

It always starts with a moment.

All relationships do, but when it comes to being in love, this moment can be very small. Before we start going “Oh no. She is going to go all cliche on us here.” I’m going to let you know I’m probably going to burst a lot of bubbles here.

Love doesn’t always have to occur at first sight.

You can have characters know each other for a long time before they fall in love. Plus, if love is always at first sight, that is discriminatory to your sight-impaired characters. Blind people fall in love too. The moment that someone falls in love can be a gesture or a situation that causes the realization to click.

Almost every romantic love can at first seem like true love.

For example, almost every significant other we had in high school. I was pretty sure at the beginning of my relationships that I thought that this was the guy I was going to marry, and I almost did with one of them. They all seemed like true love at the time, and they all ended very badly. The truth is that we don’t have examples of “true love” except from stories, and in the end we have to figure out for ourselves what true love is. Take your definition and try applying it to the characters. If it doesn’t work, then try to realize that they may have their own ideas as to what true love is to them.

The little things make the big picture.

Though we don’t always bring them up, little details are what helps create the big picture of being in love. The way one character looks at another. The way he brushes her hair to the side. How she always has to be touching him when they sleep. Little idiosyncrasies are developed when in a relationship, they show not only that a relationship exists but the state that relationship is in.

Love isn’t just blind, it is blinding.

When in love, it is easy for your characters not to see faults in each other. What people don’t see is that it is also an easy way to hide an enemy, much better than the Frenemy we talked about with friendships. In first love, a character may not see that their love is doing sketchy things, or really that bad things are going on around them. If it seems like a threat to the relationship, they may just focus on that. On the other hand if it is a threat to themselves, the will probably dismiss it entirely.

Happy endings are for Disney.

In relationships, the closest thing to a “happy ending” is having a stable and healthy relationship that doesn’t end in divorce after getting married. Disney doesn’t show that part, hence why all the fan art of Disney couples after the happy ending. Who knows, after your story ends your happy couple could end up breaking it off, but your readers will never be able to see that.

There are many types of love.

When it comes to romantic love there are so many subtypes. Obsessive love, which seems to be popular among the Fifty Shades crowd, is just one type and it is a dangerous type. There is also passionate love, true romantic love, and the violent abusive kind of love that leads to domestic violence. Take a look at the various types of love around you and in stories. Try to figure out what type of love you are working with in your characters relationships. Not everyone has Stockholm Syndrome as seen with Beauty and the Beast.

These are just the basic points when it comes to creating a character dynamic in the basis of love. A pair of lovers will have a relationship that will ebb and flow and eventually change over time, and with those changes will come growing pains. Keep on the look out tomorrow where we go over the conflict of the Lovers’ Quarrel.

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